


Pudding

by Moskovie



Series: Fricky Frack it's Crack [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Absoulte Bullshit, Awkward uses for inanimate objects, Bad Pickup Lines, But Not Porn, Crack Fic, I just want to say that when I wrote this, I think even before episode 6 was out, I was so fucking high, I write to many of these, I wrote this a long time ago, LETS PLAY A GAME SHALL WE? WHAT IS CHRIS HUMPING???, M/M, Phichit is the P-Shit, Phichit's snapback and speedo tm, Sexuality Crisis, Viktor is gay, Viktor's lamp addiction, Yuuri agrees, bad cosplay, fuck i need season 2, i suffer every week, shitty dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 04:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8953291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moskovie/pseuds/Moskovie
Summary: A winddown after the cup of China involves some drunk dancing, phichit on the floor, gta wasted parents and Viktor's sexuality crisis. Yuuri never gets a break and Makachin gets the bitches.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Actual shitl, from urs truely.  
> I wrote this before like episode 6? I haven't checked on it since.  
> My frond is writing a frosty the snowman smut fic as i upload this.  
> My ex-gf had flashbacks to a fanfic about tom jefferson fucking a bowl of macorni  
> My life is shit, yuri on ice is my religion.  
> Im sorry for this, I truly am.

It all started when after Yuuri won the China cup. Being the proud boyfriend he was Viktor decided that they should party, of course it was a good idea, katsudon for everyone.

"... And we can invite Yuko, and Nishigori and your mom and dad and Yurio and Mari and Phichit and Chris,—" the names continued it seemed as if Viktor was planning the biggest party in the world. Knowing him he definately would.

Not to mention the older's lifetime supply of Vodka, and in various flavours. Yuuri was not much of a drinker but he had to admit the flavoured ones were his favourite compared to the plain burning vodka.

But as soon as the couple was back to their hotel room, the five time world champion was on his phone inviting everyone to a party that he couldn't wait to throw.

And as soon as they got back to the family onsen, Viktor was ready. Yuuri was starting to think that this was not much about him but the twenty-seven year old's need to party. So the bespecticalled man asked.

"Are you actually proud of me, or do you just want to party?"  
Viktor looked his boyfriend steernly in the eyes before closing the distance between them. It was a sweet kiss that gave Yuuri his answer.  
But Viktor still replied.

"Yes."

 

Everyone arrived including Yurio, whom for some reason could not resist Viktor's pleas. Yuuri knew the feeling.

And so the festivities began.

It all started with Viktor on a table in a old costume that Yuuri thought fit him very nicely.

That was only after one bottle of his boyfriend's stash. But Yuuri was happy he ws having fun. Considering the song blaring through some speakers.

"EVERYTIME I LOOK AT MY DICK, I'M LIKE 'HOLY SHIT' THAT'S A BIG DICK. EVERYTIME I LOOK AT YOUR DICK I'M LIKE 'HOLY SHIT THAT'S A SMALL DICK."

Viktor continued to yell it throughout the house. But soon enough someone got the balls to challenge Viktor's drunk antics, thus yelling more things about dick sizes. Yuuri really wished that none of it was about him. Even if it was not, Viktor's party scene was not really for him. Maybe he'd go for a run.

"~Yuuriiii~!!" Viktor called, about three bottles in. Yuuri was impressed at his boyfriend's alcohol tolerance.

"Come on!!!!! Sing a song it will be fun!" The Russian drunkly giggled and Yuuri fell in love all over again. How was his man so cute, hot, and sexy? All at the same time? Not to mention his outfit choice of the night, that could be a barginning point at Viktor's handsomeness.

He was wearing a spiderman suit. And somehow managed to get Nishigori dressed like Benedict Cumberbatch? His wife trying diligently trying to get him to stop. It seems as though Viktor's party ways are too strong.

Ten bottles laying on the floor by now shared throughout the guests. Viktor is still going strong and trying to get Yuuri into a lepard print body suit with cat ears, in which Yurio was very jealous about. Weirdly.

At this point of the night Yuuri had never been more embarrased. Especially when his parents arrived home and Yuuri was still in the 'sexy kitty' outfit. Not wanting to sell out his boyfriend..

"IT WAS PHICHIT'S IDEA." Yuuri scammbled. From the other room his friend peaked his head from around the kitchen.

"AYE PASS THE WEED, P-SHIT IN DA HOUSE." He yelled, "WHOOOO!!!!" And smacked his face on the side off the door and decided that he would sleep in front of the fridge.

His black and yellow bee snapback falling off and an awkward sound of his ripping ant man speedo.

"Oh." Yuuri's dad looked at him crossly, "Son, i know you're gay, but that's extensive." His dad awkwardly point toward Chris whom was hilt deep in the naked blue goatee man from National Treasure.

Yuuri's mother was silent as if ready to pursue her son's punishment.  
And soon she had done it.

His mom threw off her shirt and jumped into a pile of bubble gum dispensers.

Was yuuri the only normal one here. Chris was humping some other thing now, his mother was shirtless and rolling around on the floor his dad now suddenly has his dick stuck in a goldfish tank, (how did that get here?) The Nishigoris were grinding in the corner as Benedict Cumberbatch and Justin Beiber. But Viktor was nowhere to be found.

Avoiding the rest of whatever the fuck is going on in his house he decided to find his boyfriend of two years. He was sitting outside on the roof of Yuuri's bedroom. Crying.

"Babe." Yuuri gathered him in his arms, he was crying on his shoulder sniffling on and making a wet towle out of Yuuri's lepard outfit.

"Might I ask what's wrong?" Yuuri said kissing him on his head and pulling him as close as he could.

"Yu-Yuuri.." He looked up to him with clouded blue eyes.

"I--I think, I think I'm gay."

"Viktor, yea you are it's okay, you're gay, I know." Yuuri assured him, "Even my dick knows."

"Oh Yuuri, that's so sweet."

"So is my dick."

"You always know dick jokes cheer me up."

After Viktor's sexuality crisis, he decided to go to his room where he stored all of his lamps.

"Now Yuuri, I don't I want you to judge me, but I would like for you to meet my boyfriend, Gertrud. " He motioned toward a lamp.

"Oh."

Then Viktor stripped and threw the lamp out of a window. He then put on a grey outfit that made him look like an alien and made strange noises while random disco lights came out of nowhere.

"Wanna chrum drum in my bedrum?" Viktor flopped on his bed causally petting his lamp and chugging down more vodka and putting his leg straight up in the air, continuing to make noise. While the background noise was the South Park soundtrack and Chris Crocker.

"Booty big cause I like the pizza..."

It has truly been the party of a life time.

"Hey, where's —?" Yuuri started

"PERRY?!?!?" Viktor blurted,

" uh no, Makkachin."

As soon as Yuuri said it the dog walked out of the storage closet wearing a squirtle snapback.

"Ah damn boi, did you see that bitch down the street, I would say that is some good pussy but but even Chris could get on that."  
(I'm Legit plays in the background)

Makkachin stands on two legs and walks down the stairs counting condoms.

"Wanna fuck?" Viktor asked

"Sure why not?"

The End.

Please shoot me, and I promise I will write something else to make up for this absoulte garbage.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually don't regret this. bYe


End file.
